Just a Memory

My resolve melts like wax,
And drips down to burn my skin.
The pain within me continues to twist and wrack.
For the thousandth time here I am again.

How did it start, when did I decide,
That these images screaming inside of my mind,
Were the things that would heal me if I just opened myself?
Now this compulsion is destroying me when I thought it would help.

Beauty is fleeting, or so I once believed.
But now the mirror gives greeting to how I've been deceived.
And locked in my memory lives the worst part.
Its that I'm the one who gave this desire my heart!

This force tells me to do things that people say,
Will send me to an early grave.
But the thing I refuse to call an addiction,
Sucks me dry and when I plead it doesn't listen.

I hear its voice whispering so sweet,
Telling me lies so I'll still believe.
And its poison reaches ever deeper in,
As I try to convince myself that these words are genuine.

How did it start, when did I decide,
That these images screaming inside of my mind,
Were the things that would heal me if I just opened myself?
Now this compulsion is destroying me when I thought it would help.

Beauty is fleeting, or so I once believed.
But now the mirror gives greeting to how I've been deceived.
My freedom is just a memory.
How did I think this would mend my grief?

Just a little less shall give you more,
And people will like you,
Like they didn't before.
And finally all your dreams will come true.

Trust me, no one likes,
To see an image that isn't flawless.
So just hold me tight,
And someday I'll give you complete solace.

How did it start, when did I decide,
That these images screaming inside of my mind,
Were the things that would heal me if I just opened myself?
Now this compulsion is destroying me when I thought it would help.

Beauty is fleeting, or so I once believed.
But now the mirror gives greeting to how I've been deceived.
And locked in my memory lives the worst part.
Its that I'm the one who gave this desire my heart!

But no, I understand now,
That this isn't real.
And I can see how my life tumbled down,
From all the things I let you steal.

Its not how I look, but my character,
That determines true worth and beauty.
Because when years start to blur,
Its love that endures in our memory.

This is when I decide,
That this illusion will never satisfy.
Healing won't come in a moment I know.
But now is when I'm choosing to let this go.

Beauty is fleeting if its only the outward shell.
Your heart and actions is where true splendor dwells.
And now I believe,
Someday this pain will be just a memory.