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About Literature / Hobbyist Beauty from the AshesFemale/United States Group :icondark-minded-poetry: Dark-Minded-Poetry
the dark minds becoming darker
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This is a short story....thing I wrote yesterday. Please tell me what you all think, I'd very much appreciate hearing your thoughts and reactions. Hopefully I still have the knack for writing stories. XD
Hey everybody! First off I want to let you all know I'm going to be working until the middle of November, and unfortunately there's a high chance I won't have internet during that time span. Sorry:/ But I'm wondering, would you like for me to schedule some poems and craft project photos so they'll show up here even while I'm gone?
  • Listening to: Roundtable Rival - Lindsey Stirling
  • Drinking: Tea
Hey everybody. Well its late here (or very early depending upon your perspective) but I've been thinking and decided to write this anyway. First off, I have LIGHTS The Listening on, since their music always quietly and gently inspires me. Secondly, I need to figure out where to start sorting this pile of thoughts into something recognizable. 

Okay, begin, I've been working a lot lately. Which is why DA hasn't seen nearly as much of me for a good while. It makes me sad, but I suppose this is a common predicament for many people besides me. I'm very glad to have employment of course. Although one very bad thing is the time traded for living costs has decreased my writing quite a bit. And I miss just crafting poems without restriction. Although fortunately I haven't lost my knack for it, since I have written a couple when the opportunity arises. This causes me to wonder though, has this same predicament happened to the people I know on here? Has life swallowed you up as you've grown from teen into adult? I'd very much like to know. And I'd like to talk to you all, if you see this. I hope you're all doing well.  

Next, I came to the realization lately that its been a long time since I've read a book. Digging my way out of depression, taking care of family, and work have stolen the quietness needed for me to get wrapped up in stories. And I dearly miss that feeling. Of discovering characters, and loving them. Of turning every page in a three day frenzy of near constant reading to discover if the people you've grown to care so deeply about survive, and if their stories have a satisfying ending. Its something I'm determined to change. I need to read again. I don't want my passion for literature to get buried under life's stresses. One book I bought specifically only a week ago as an act of love towards myself  is called "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear". And I must say, it is an AMAZINGLY good book. Its begun to awaken many things I'd already started to see, but was too scared to fully accept. I'll tackle those topics next, since they lead smoothly into each other. 

For ages now, what's held me back from writing stories is fear. The crippling all consuming fear of failing my readers, and hating the idea of not having perfection be the guaranteed final product. The terror of messing up an ending, or not having each plot point concretely logical. Of having something unrealistic. Big Magic though has opened my eyes to the fact that my motivation needs to shift. I should write not just for others, but most of all for myself. I should write because of this burning passion to create, from the love of literature and lore itself, to help myself, to express and give form to these ideas which desperately long to come into being. AND also to bring joy to those who read them. To help the people the stories touch, to give them the amazing sensations of getting wrapped up in a story or beautiful piece of art. And maybe getting inspired by it themselves. Yes I must strive for excellence, because an uncaring hand is insulting to what the power of creation is worth. However I can't be paralyzed by the desire for utter perfection. And instead of worrying my ideas are unoriginal, I should write authentically. Because although most ideas have been thought of before, they have not been expressed by me, and THAT'S what makes them different. My heart and perspective is the biggest part of what will give people the desire to read my work, and originality will hopefully mix its lovely flavor in too. 

This leads into a rather significant self discovery. At last, my soul has settled upon the truth of what my purpose on this earth is. My calling is to create. To bring color and vibrancy, to heal through what my hands, heart and mind make. To inspire and awaken other people. Now, considering what I'm like perhaps you'd think perceiving this shouldn't have taken as long as it did. However people are often blind to themselves I suppose. You see, there are many forms of creation I have a passion for doing. Sewing, Jewelry, Knitting, Origami, Paper Crafts, Wood Work, Writing. And many more I hunger to learn, simply out of an almost indescribable love of the splendor in building and weaving materials into beauty. But for whatever reason, I've always felt hesitant to believe art is what I'm supposed to focus all of my energy on. Perhaps because of fearing I'd fail. 

Which is another point I've come to see needs to change with how I've seen it. I need to do things and be willing to fail, or not have them flawless. What's held me back from truly moving forward is the terror my attempts at drawing, music or singing will be rough at first. Yet now its clear they'll need to be unpolished at first, and that's completely fine. For me to ever do it, I need to simply DO it. 
If I want to learn a language I have to try, probably have a horrible accent at first and say things wrong. Hardly anyone, regardless of natural talent, is instantly advanced at something. If I want to expand my vocabulary, I have to actually begin more thoroughly exploring a dictionary. I'll need to sit down and practice drawing, piano, and slowly work on building up my confidence at singing. If I want my books to be realistic I've got to dive in and do research, instead of being afraid of the effort involved or that I'll miss a key fact and there will be an error in the logic of my story lines. That's why there's constructive criticism, so fresh minds can look at your creations, see problems you might have missed and kindly tell you what they are. I don't need to be scared of issues being seen, or crumble if there are some. There being story holes doesn't make me instantly a horrible author. Never writing and not listening is what would make me a bad author. 

And lastly, there are many things I'm wanting/looking forward to experiencing to help me become a more knowledgeable author. I want to do knight training, sword fighting, staff fighting, and know firsthand how it feels to ride hundreds of miles on horseback. I want to feel what its like to climb mountains and fight all day in armour. What its like to be extremely hungry  and thirsty with hardly any means of warmth for weeks outdoors, and how it is to survive in different terrains (wilderness, desert, mountains, hills, etc.) How you feel to be hot, cold or soaked for extended periods of time. Probably my whole life will be taken up in doing these things, but then again I think its what I'm meant to do with mine. 

P.S. Thank you all who have stuck with me and commented on what I've uploaded here despite my long absences. Honestly it means SO much to me, and although many times I didn't have the energy to reply your words helped me keep going and believing I could write, and that I should keep writing. 

P.P.S On a kind of related note, I've been wanting to ask you all something for a while but kept forgetting to. Would you like to see other art and projects I've done? Such as jewelry, drawings and origami. There are only a couple drawings, and a greater supply in comparison of crafts. The photos won't be the highest quality because they're taken on my phone, but hey, if you guys and gals give the go ahead I'll put them on here. 

Hello all! Well this isn't really connected to anything, and probably will ramble hither and yon a bit. But hey, I figured that might be pleasant for everyone to read. Its raining where I am, I've got a giant cup o' tea, the headphones I'm wearing are squishing my ears, and I should probably be asleep since its early in the morning. However artwork inspiration hit and its lovely listening to Lights and Owl City. :) So here I is [grammar slaying intentional] feeling bouncy and sleepy all at the same time. :icongrin--plz: Anyway onwards my noble non existent steed!

Suuu, first off I'm working now. Which is wonderful because I've got an income coming in and can purchase necessities for myself, and support my family. One negative aspect though is that it often leaves me no time or energy for artwork. And because of this my poetry writing has been extremely sporadic, and hasn't helped any with upload frequency. But in the last two weeks I've stopped being extremely worried about losing my knack for writing, and have started doing it once more. In addition I've begun drawing tentatively yet consistently, which is quite an improvement. I still have a huge list of tasks left to do, such as making gifts for 15 people and writing letters. Also the 1,000 messages  and 55 notes still not answered on here. However to prevent myself from getting weighed down by the sheer amount of everything again, I'm trying to enjoy artwork/crafts instead of them becoming an obligation and bringing a sense of deep guilt each time I think of them. 

Speaking of crafts, I'm wondering if any of you would be interested in seeing photos of some of my creations? Its mostly jewelry and paper stoofs. I've finally got a printer that works and has a scanner, therefore uploading pictures or drawings shouldn't be quite as difficult anymore. Oh and this isn't quite related, but for the first time in AGES I wrote a bit of a story the other night. May not seem like the biggest deal in the world, however I've been frozen in that regard for a while now. And in consideration of some of my friends on here who specifically got to know me because of my stories, I want to begin weaving them like I used to. 

Anywho I'd better head to bed, but before I do how are you all fairing lately? I've missed getting to talk on here with you guys and gals. Ooh, [random thought again] would it be interesting for you all to sometimes see a journal with music, books and poetry I'm exploring and enjoying lately? I don't know if its a good idea or not so let meh know below. Goodnight everyone, I'm off to invade slumber land. :iconsleepyonionplz: :iconplusplz: :iconswordtardplz: :iconequalsplz: :iconadventureplz:
Hey everybody! First off I want to let you all know I'm going to be working until the middle of November, and unfortunately there's a high chance I won't have internet during that time span. Sorry:/ But I'm wondering, would you like for me to schedule some poems and craft project photos so they'll show up here even while I'm gone?
  • Listening to: Roundtable Rival - Lindsey Stirling
  • Drinking: Tea


Beauty from the Ashes
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I am a Christian. And I am a hardliner when it comes to morals. If you're doing something contrary to that I'd still like to be friends with you, I may not agree with how you're living and try to convince you to change BUT I will never dislike you. 

I'm a conservative when it comes to political views. And again, if you see things different I'd still love to be acquainted with you. Also I am pro-life.

I love Gothic/Steampunk clothes and jewelry. Also I love Heavy Metal, Hard Rock, Symphonic Metal, Classical, and Country music. I guess I'm pretty Gothic when it comes to my fashion tastes, although I also like girly things, such as delicate necklaces and light colors. I kind of mix and match, although I absolutely ADORE Gothic clothes, they rule!!!! 

I'm very patriotic, I love the U.S. Marines with all my heart, they're my heroes!

I want to help people, to be there for them when things are tough. So if you need help message or note me, I'm always ready to listen. And if we get to know each other well enough I will let you have my phone number so we can call and text as well.

My Sisters:









My Friends

































Hope I didn't forget anyone.

One of my very favorite artists, she's very sweet and does amazing work! You should really check out her page- :iconroxy-graphics:

Favourite genre of music: Heavy metal, Classical and Country
Favourite style of art: Traditional and Digital Art
Favourite cartoon character: Deadpool
Personal Quotes: "Never say anything behind someones back that you aren't willing to say to their face."
"It takes a lot of guts to admit when you're wrong. I hope I have that kind of courage."


Retrubutionist777 has started a donation pool!
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Okay, there are some prints I REALLY want to buy on here, but I don't have any points or money to buy them with. So PLEASE donate! I'd appreciate it immensely. I will try to repay you by favoriting and supporting your work. Thank you very much!

Aw man, why can't I donate to myself? :D

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KariLiimatainen Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Photographer
:thanks: for the support ..!! :rose:
KariLiimatainen Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks for the :+fav:!
Retrubutionist777 Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! The photography you do is spectacular. 
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the fave!
Retrubutionist777 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome! And thank YOU for favoriting one of my pieces as well, it makes me feel so happy! :happybounce:  
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.  I favorite any poem that stand out to me.
Retrubutionist777 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:bow: I'm grateful mine was among them! Again, vielen dank!
BloodshotInk Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2015
Thanks for the faves :]
Retrubutionist777 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
You're deeply welcome. The artwork you create never fails to touch and inspire me. And believe me, that's a wonderful gift to receive from someone else. 
Andriyanov Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2015  New Deviant
Thank you so much for fav! ^^

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